Soul's Secret
by fishiee
Summary: "Secret is a story of a girl with many secrets- first one being that really isn't her name, but she only remembers an echo of a time she was called anything else. Second being she is scientifically engineered to hear your secrets if your eyes -the window to the soul- catches hers. Third, she was the weapon that won many wars. And fourth..." - rest of summery inside


"Secret is a story of a girl with many secrets- first one being that really isn't her name, but she only remembers an echo of a time she was called anything else. Second being she is scientifically engineered to hear your secrets if your eyes -the window to the soul- catches hers. Third, she was the weapon that won many wars. And fourth, to most she's a legend, a folklore, but since we're finally telling the truth here, she escaped the place that changed her five years ago, and we need to find her now. Before anyone else does."

_At this point, I've seen Captain America: The Winter Soldier twice, and I have current plans to see it two more times. It's really good guys and if you haven't seen it, you need to get your butt down to the theater man. This is set after the movie. I would say the Winter Soldier/Bucky and my OC Secret are the main characters, but all the Avengers will regularly be in the chapters. _

_So that being said I don't own the Avengers or the Winter Soldier. I do own my OC Secret. _

_And I apologize in advance: I don't normally write in third person. It feels awkward to me, but I've read some pretty amazing fanfictions in third person lately, so I decided I need to get over myself and practice. So if it sounds weird sometimes, let me know. Or if I accidentally say something like 'I said' instead of 'she said'. That's happened many times writing this first chapter... anyways._

_Thanks y'all! Review and let me know what you think. :)_

**CHAPTER ONE**

In her wintery fortress underground, Secret watched an unusual man with overgrown dark hair and a silver arm stumble through the snow- unusual mainly in the fact that this deep in the mountains was where no humans ever wandered, as she had intended. He was first she'd seen in the five years she's held herself up in the little bomb-like shelter buried beneath a small clearing.

Secret used a small television to view the outside world. It flickered occasionally and if you turned up the volume, all you'd hear is white noise but it was enough for her. It let her keep an eye out for the wildlife she fed herself with. And see how many times a day it snowed. Or count how many times it blacked out each hour... or minute. But it was enough for Secret.

That not to say she wasn't very excited over the fact that the man was staggering closer and closer to her door, which lay hidden under the snow. She debated going out to him before he collapsed to ground and curled up like a spider dying.

Cold nipped her cheeks before she even realized she'd made the decision to make sure he was okay. Pulling herself up from the last few steps of the ladder, Secret flinched from his screaming.

"Hey," She said softly, walking slowly towards him, "Hey now, are you okay?" Her voice was a little raspy, as the only time she got to talk was when she talked to herself, and she had tried to keep that to a minimum.

He clenched his teeth, trying to keep from crying out, at the sight of her. He thought he was days away from a living soul. He gasped to try to calm himself, but ending failing miserably as reason left him.

Secret kneeled in the snow next to him and placed a hand on his arm in comfort. He closed his eyes, his body taut. He let out a breath and fell back, unraveling himself.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. It never needed to be louder, before and now.

She was searching his face, taking in his body, watching how his chest rose and went back down. Secret hadn't seen it in so long that it nearly took her breath away.

He didn't respond. His eyes slid open and just stared unblinkingly into the bright sky.

"Hey," Secret said again, gently tapping his arm. He seemed... catatonic. Sighing, she pulled him over to her trap door and wondered how she was going to get him down to her little home. Thinking about how little the drop ultimately was, and especially to a guy as tall as him, she decided on trying to slip him down there feet first. He made it, though crumbled to his knees, falling back against the ladder.

She jumped down and dragged him over to her bed. Secret not-so-gently jerked him onto her bed and went to pull shut her door. Shivering a little, she went back to his side. She tried to never open the door for long. Her place was well insulated, but she didn't like the cold at all.

It wasn't too long later when the man's body relaxed and he slowly blinked. He sat up and caught Secret's eye from across the room and the words _I won't know who I am before I lose my mind _whispered in her mind. She swallowed and looked away. Don't ever look people in the eye, she reminded herself.

"Hi." She said quietly, slowing standing up, like he was a wild animal that would bolt if she moved too fast.

"Hi." He replied warily, eyes trained on every movement, though he didn't feel like she was much of a threat at this moment.

"What... who..." Secret paused for a second, not sure what question to ask first. "Who are you?" She finally said.

His eyes sized her up again, but he stayed quiet.

"Um well. I'm Secret," She put out hesitantly, taking a small step towards him.

"Secret?" He questioned, watching her feet.

"Yeah. Yeah, I don't really... well. I guess I don't really know my real name." She admitted, though a name did echo in the back of her mind. _They_ told her it was something she made up, but she was never sure.

Secret stared at his forehead, though she felt him trying to catch her eye. "What's your name?" She asked softly. This moment felt like thin glass, like it could shatter at only moment.

He paused a moment, and she saw him swallow. "Bucky," He said this hesitancy.

"What, do you not know your name either?" Secret joked, a couple feet away from him now. She pulled a chair from against the wall, and his eyes went to that. She slowly sat down and thought about his secret, _I won't know who I am before I lose my mind, _when he suddenly smiled, though very slightly.

"I'm remembering," Bucky replied quietly.

"My name, my real one," She slightly stuttered, "is only a memory."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, it's a long story, Bucky." Secret smiled bitterly.

"Tell me the story. I have time." His mouth formed awkwardly over the joke, like it's been a while since he's done it.

"Do you really?" She replied sarcastically before sighing, "How about I tell you a happy one instead? I think you could go for a happy story instead."

Bucky shrugged and Secret smiled at the story she was about to tell.

"Once upon a time there was a very, very smart girl and smart, but not very-very smart, guy. She was very pretty and sweet and nobody ever saw her mad. She had so much patience. He was very handsome, though a hot tempered redhead, but when they met she kept him control. It was love at first sight. They married and had a girl named Ellie that had her mom's pale face and brown hair and her father's temper and hazel eyes and they lived happily ever after." _Or till she was kidnapped by their best friend, the man she called her uncle, at the age of 5, never to be seen again, to be exposed to some colorful lights and turned freak and tested on and used till she ran away at 15..._ However she added this to herself.

"Ellie sounds an awful like you." Bucky commented. With his few word sentences, she hadn't noticed how flat his voice was, nearly void of all emotion.

Secret nodded with small smile.

"How did you end up here, not sure if Ellie's your real name?" He asked.

Hearing what she thought was her name ran chills up her back. It's been 15 years since anyone has ever called her that, and everyone she knew at the labs told her it was just a dream, her imagination. Something she thought up. But her name was, and always had been, Secret.

She didn't believe them. She couldn't count how many times they lied to her.

But just she shrugged, "I'm not called Secret for no reason."

Bucky just nodded slowly and stated, "I'm suppose to be dead. I fell off a train, but I did not die."

"Sounds like your past might be as screwed up as mine. Tell me about it? I mean, after all, your name isn't Secret. Your story now," She leaned back against her chair.

"But I was a secret for so long, and during that time my name was the Winter Soldier." He replied, relaxing a little bit more.

"Sounds very dramatic."

Bucky actually let out a short laugh, "It kinda was. I was an assassin."

"Oh, you too?" She deadpanned, but something felt like it was coming alive in her. What? Was he... like her? His thought from earlier, his _soul's secret_- the deepest secret of all, was he was never going to figure who he really was. No, he wasn't going to figure out who he truly was before he went before he went insane. _I may know a thing about that_, she thought to herself. But she would die for that secret to be kept just that, a secret.

"Yeah," surprise slightly colored his voice, "I was an assassin for HYDRA. I was the best... you?" He said after a pause.

Secret bit her lip nervously before answering. She had fought (and killed) a few HYDRA agents over the years. "SHIELD. What changed?" She finally answered, staring at the cement ground.

"SHIELD?" Bucky exclaimed- nearly. It was the most emotion Secret'd seen from him this whole time, though.

"You first. What changed?" She asked quicky, keeping her eyes down. She waited for his answer and it took a moment to get one.

"Apparently I'd been brainwashed into being the Winter Soldier." He admitted softly.

"Brainwashed?"

"Yeah. Steve- Captain- you know Captain America?" Her eyes widened, of course she knew of him, but he just continued on, "He saved me from them, but not before they, uhm, tested on me. Changed me. I didn't know this till after Steve saved me and then I fell off a train, but survived. Then they took me, brainwashed me." He paused, "Atleast that's what I can put together from my memories. But they're kinda messed up. I have to pick and choose what's real and not."

"That's pretty intense, and I, uh, remember hearing about your death, and-and about Captain America's. He's partial to the reason why _I _exist," Secret shrugged, but wouldn't say no more.

"I was very, very, VERY much so a _secret_," She finally said, a quick grin flashed across her face, "I think about nine people in the whole entire world knew about me."

"I'm starting to understand why your name is Secret." Bucky smiled, though he looked like he was slightly in pain. Secret laughed, at the joke, but mostly at him.

"What have you been doing? What are you been doing now?" She asked him.

"I've been... trying to figure myself out. Found out the story of my supposed death at a museum, after nearly killing Captain America, and that's when-"

"-wait, nearly _killing_ Captain America? Isn't he already _dead_?" She interrupted in shock.

"That's, uh, that's _so last year_," He tried to feign attitude, but it came off flat. He sighed but continued on, "He froze in solid ice and it like preserved him, exactly as it was. Like me. Same thing also happened to me, except mine was purposeful. They found him and woke him up and yeah, he's alive just like me." Bucky finished, but then added quietly, "He's looking for me. Keeps getting close. I want to see him, but..." he trailed off and shook his head.

"But what?" Secret asked, a mix of curiosity and concern at the sudden drop of his face.

This time he shrugged it off, but said, "Remembering can be painful. And I'm just not... myself quite yet. I don't know how to socialize, how to have emotion. The Winter Soldier had no emotion."

But Secret knows when a secret is being kept from her. However she didn't say anything about that.

"Is that another reason why you're called Secret? With your wide eyes and honest face, I could tell you anything. I feel... almost normal right now," Bucky said, an half smile forming.

She smiled back, "Surely doesn't hurt." She subconsciously ran a hand through her brown hair.

"But I have noticed avoid my eyes, but if you do, you flinch away." He tried to catch mine and I panicky closed my eyes. "Does it hurt you? I'm not looking anymore."

I slowly opened my eyes and forcefully stared at the floor. "Doesn't hurt me, but the whole 'eyes are the window to your soul' thing is real for me. I hear your deepest secret, aka 'soul's secret', if I meet any eyes."

Bucky leaned forward and whistled. "Wow. They tested on you, too?"

"Yeah, with some purple glow-y stuff. I don't really know what, but I was five. Over the next couple of years, they trained me into a weapon. What little girl wants to be that? What little girl wants to kill people with their darkest secrets? So when I was fifteen, with the help of one of the scientists, I escaped. I've been here five years now," Secret shrugged, "Nobody knows I'm here, except you now. What should I do? SHIELD would have made me kill you."

He stiffened ever so slightly that I immediately blurted, "I wouldn't do that, though. I'm not them."

He nodded. "Force of habit."

"So, I guess it does lead to this part of the conversation... what are your plans?" Secret asked, the balloon of excitement deflating in her. This was going to have to end. It's just going to be her again. By herself. She suddenly felt cold with loneliness. She was regretted bringing him in and she realized even in the short time they've talked, she'd gotten attached.

And how is Secret going to ensure she will stay a secret deep in these wintery mountains?

"I kind of just want to be alone. I just want to sort my mind out," Bucky answered, and she nodded.

"It was really nice to have you here. I've been so alone," She said honestly, "I'll go get something for dinner, and something extra for your journey," She stood up to get her arrows and some makeshift traps, and he made a movement to get up as well, "No, you stay! Rest. I won't be long."

He made a noise to protest, but Secret cut him off, "Please. Just stay here a little longer. For me. You don't know how badly I want someone to come home to, just once."

Bucky sat back against the bed and said nothing, and Secret packed up and went out into the dark, cold air.

* * *

What Secret had said to Bucky was the truth, complete and honest. Nearly too honest, she felt, but it had just bursted out in a moment of panic. Coming back from hunting, that's all she could think again. That for the first time ever, she had someone to come home to. It saddens her she will never have it again, but she forced that thought down, and pretended this was how it was always going to be.

Secret opened the latch to her little bunker and dropped her catches down. "I'm back," She called before jumping down.

Bucky stood tense and prepared at the foot of her bed. "Hey, Bucky, it's just me," She said, dropping her arrows and traps and putting her hands up. It was useless, though, he lunged at her anyways.

She managed to just dodge him. In complete shock, she exclaimed, "Bucky!"

He slammed her bed against her, pinning her against the wall. Secret had gotten weak, being alone and not fighting for years, and add her surprise over his attack, Bucky quickly overcame her trapped there.

Closing his hands around her throat, he replied, "Who the hell is Bucky?"


End file.
